Image Courtesy: Naina Raheja
Although this post has nothing to do with Feng Shui, it has a lot to do with the idea behind it.
Why is it that whenever I like someone they end up being so different from me. They are confident, they are shy, they don’t demand popularity yet command respect. Quite a mouthful of oxymoronic adjectives, I’ve ended up using there.
But then they just happen to do that. Maybe they are just good human beings. Even when she rebukes, she makes it sound cute. And when she dresses up, she doesn’t dress up, she just dresses like her self. That alone is there to day dream about her the whole day. And here you are spending a night with a group of friends including her. Yeah, she doesn’t like you, yet she does. She has a boyfriend and here I was being too hopeful.
I am a 23 year old punk, still writing about love stories. Still romanticising about things which never take refuge in me, yet they keep me going. Trust me if I’ve spent more than a year with someone, I’ll be able to spend a lifetime with that person. And yet, only once has that happened and I’ve broken up 7 times till now. The old Madam is in a relationship with a Sub-Lieutenant in the Indian Navy. And the Not-So-New-Madam’s identity is not to be disclosed.
And here, an NDA failure, a CDS reject who believed his destiny was to become an Army Lieutenant someday in the 7 Poona Horse, Armoured Corps, finds himself completing his MBA going onwards towards a Doctorate in Business Administration. Quite a bombardment of oxymoronic adjectives again.
Both of them are similar. Too similar. Here you try to forget someone you liked, and there’s a different person who is unique, talks like her, loves like her, cares for you like her, and is a stalwart in her walk of life. And you wonder, “what the hell is going on”. As she speaks, she genuinely speaks. You act dumb so that you don’t show your true self. You are an introvert when it comes to taking personal relationships ahead. Professionally you are a boss. Nothing amounts to you getting what you want, getting whom you want. And while you’ve impacted the lives of so many people, you’ve not managed to impact hers much.
When you define a strong, independent, intelligent, fearless woman, you point at her. She is all, and she’s an introvert. Oxymoron? Naah, you’ve been there and done that. You’re in the same shoes. So are we different or are we the same?
At the end of the day we are humans changing our thoughts and perspectives as we proceed on with our lives. We learn from others and wish we could be like someone who is better than you. And you conclude, that she definitely is better than you. Not different, but similar yet growing at a different pace. You are India and she’s China . You both started off at the same pace, yet she’s far more inner engineered and disciplined than you. And while you try to shy your eyes away from her, just because you feel it’ll be a bit awkward, since she’s said “No” to you, she doesn’t shy away. She wants you to maintain eye contact and talk to her like a man. Because she genuinely cares and she genuinely does not give a rat’s ass about what happened before. She banters with you, and she makes fun of you. And that makes you love her more, yet not love her at all, for her sake. Because she’s happy with someone else.
She’s like Yin and you are yang. Then you’re yin and she’s Yang. You complement each other well and then you don’t. Until you finally realize, she’s not different at all. It’s just Yin and Yang together. And you’re a year away from being both.