As if it was completely understood, we all venture in, thinking we are professional at the art of falling in love.
It is so fresh and tangible, the reciprocation that fills us with the eagerness of a 4 year old, co-exploring the sand castle that he built with another 4 year old.
Throughout this journey, each started having expectations of the other, while both claimed to have none. And while one had more than the other, the inadequacy in both seemed inevitable.
So how does a person, who falls in love without expectations, falls out of love by having expectations and then claims to be in love having hurt the other without even realizing he was doing so at the moment?
He is in love. He is in love with the memory of the other from 7 years back. When neither had any expectations from the other. And while he thinks over and over, he realizes that he has also fallen in love with the woman who made him happy for a period of 6 months. Happy to the core, filling up a hole which he never claimed to have, but he realizes now that it always existed, hence the attachment. He still is in love with the memories of the person he loves. Because memories do not have expectations. They are a reflection of what happened in the past. That being said, the same memories which are living in him everyday are also evidence of the separation he would rather not recollect.
But, experiences, breed knowledge, knowledge breeds memory, memory breeds thought and thought breeds emotions. And since I have had an experience I am full of emotions, waiting to be let out.
So if we are still in love with the memory of the other, then how are we in love with the physical person? Are they not different? They are! But, we care for the physical person. And that care which comes out without the want of reciprocation for them to return or for them to love back, is love inst it? And clinging onto memory is an attachment. Not love.
But how does one escape memories, when her photographs smile at you as if she was talking to you over Skype like she would. Her photographs are on your phone, on your personal laptop and on your work laptop. Her videos with you are on your mother’s mac air. But then while you consider not troubling yourself anymore with these memories, you realize what it means to be loved and what it feels to love. Her book still stays pristine, read from the start to the end and you learnt so much about self-less-ness through them and hence, memories are important as well. Just not attaching to them is the best course of action.
Defining Love was, is and will in the future be tough.