I have often asked myself, why is there this want for security. This innate need for something to be a permanent figure in our lives. Something or someone that will never leave us. Something that can be banked upon when nothing else is there which can support us. That MBA degree that one holds, the wife one finds in their life, the pension one accumulates, the insurance one takes, the perfect job. It is a no-brainer, we all seek security from the fear of what might happen in the future. The rationale for this is always ‘a better life’, but what we are speaking of is ‘a better future’. Yet it has to be recognized, that there is no ‘better’ future, instead there is a momentary gratification making us happy and sad, sometimes elated & sometimes absolutely empty when what we have always banked on to be with us for our future, leaves us or breaks down before serving ‘its purpose’ – the security which was being sought. And then there is a state of being which is and always has been a facade – being content.
It seems philosophers across have felt content with the knowledge that nothing can ever make us feel content. It seems throughout life what we have been chasing, is this conceptual benchmark of how a perfect life is to be. Everyone reaching the pinnacle of money, love, societal aspirations & just being and yet no one feeling content. And even if one did, the loss of any one of these ‘victories’, had the potential to wreck every safeguard and security one had for the image of what one perceived was the goal they had been pursuing. The immersive and enticing bondage of family is both curiously generous in caring for you with an expectation that the care needs to be reciprocated. The supposed permanence of marriage with someone whom we have ‘settled for’ just to please society. And if it was for love, countless times we tend to fall out of it, knowing we always wanted to maximize our own aspirations, understanding that the other’s aspirations do not fit anymore in those plans finally ‘settling’ for divorce. Detachment and Compromise both therefore seem to be the most selfish of acts, maximizing our ‘self-actualization needs’ by conflict and mayhem exerted on the other, even on those that one cares about.
I have often been introduced to people who were either touted as being ‘successful’ or ‘model’ human beings. I must admit, at that point of time, it all went in their favor, either making me find shelter in the idea of them being successful or being jealously in denial of their perceived yet unfounded brilliance. Now that I look back, the same money, the same experience of love and every other ‘perceived’ life goal, that I have tasted has either left me discontent, asking for more, or out in the cold. That being said, the faith in a planned living experience has been destroyed and so has an unplanned daily ‘in the moment’ living experience left us unhappy.
What then seems to be the ‘perfect’ life? A life without the want, the need and wish, looks to be one such utopian adventure I plan on now ‘wanting’. The absolute inadequacy is testament to this feeling. And unfortunately, no one has the answers.